Showing posts with label Marcus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marcus. Show all posts

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Wearing a Hat, Walking, and a Wedding

Not only was the end of the year full of Christmas festivities, but we were also busy getting ready for Miriam's (Mike's sister) wedding.  I've got 20 minutes to finish this blogpost so let's get to it!

The day of the rehearsal was also the day of Marcus' kindergarten music presentation. Might I say, our son looked quite dapper that day. Here he is walking with his one on one aide, who is AWESOME. Worthy of another post, for sure.

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He was ecstatic to have us there, as you can tell from his above smile. But once he got seated in his place on the stage, his smile turned into, "Woman, whatchya doing putting that thing on my head!?"

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You see, Marcus has sensory issues that make some things harder for him. Certain sounds, lights, and textures are his kryptonite, turning this usually happy and hammy boy into a statue. Hence, the stank face during the whole show while his cute little classmates are smiling and clapping along to Frosty the Snowman and such.

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He looked awfully irritated, but you see, this WAS his performance! Tolerating the Rudolph mask was a big feat for him, so while other parents might have looked at him with "Awwww, that poor boy with special needs. Poor thing...", Mike and I were looking at each other like, "Aw yeah, son! You rock wearing that hat, boy!"  We kept ourselves from giving each other high-fives and fist pumps and resorted to just exchanging quiet open-mouthed smiles, so incredibly proud of our mute statue.  Well, his aide and I decided maybe we should take it off for his jingle shaking solo, and when we did, our Johann Amadeus Beethoven Brahms came back to life.

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And then, as usual after a period of brief anxiety, he talked for about 40 minutes straight about anything and everything. It's his form of release. So he took us around his classroom and jibber jabbered about his crayons, the numbers on the wall, anything to help him unwind. But what I really know he wanted to exclaim to all the parents eating Christmas cookies was, "I know I know. I'm hot stuff. I rocked that Rudolph hat like no one's business!"

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His teacher was super duper proud of him too, and no parent could ask for a more loving Kindergarten teacher.

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That night, we headed over to the rehearsal where Marcus practiced walking his Auntie down the aisle.

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Uh huh, that's right. Marcus is WALKING! He still needs his walker for long distances and we are still nervous about his balance, but he has put aside the crawling, the hand-holding, and the trailing, especially at home. Best Christmas present ever.

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The next day, Audrey and I headed over to get dolled up while Mike spiffied up the boys at home.

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We are SO happy for Miriam and Eric and were thrilled in tears and in laughter throughout the night, just thinking about God's goodness to this newly formed family.



All 5 of us participated in the wedding party, with Mike doing a mini solo-concert throughout the night and the rest of us looking pretty.

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It was truly a family affair. So much so that at one point, I thought Mike and I should just pull the pastor aside and renew our vows in honor of our 10 years of marriage. On top of that, during the reception, Mike sang for his sister and Eric the same song he sang to me during our own reception, so really, I felt like I got married all over again.

With all the songs Mike performed during the day, including the sweet one he sang with Marcus, and since it would be a while before we saw some of our dear friends again, it was our version of the Von Trapp family farewell concert. If we all gathered around the mic to sing Edelweiss, it would have been entirely appropriate.

It was a wonderful two days of watching Marcus wear a hat and walk his beloved Auntie down the aisle.  Well, 20 minutes turned into two days and I hope to soon record the rest of our year-end shenanigans.  :-)

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Alive and Kicking

I realize I did some spiritual coasting this summer.  Riding the waves of good sermons and enjoying the calm waters of uneventful days, I think I let my heart settle into the California mindset of hanging loose and enjoying the good weather in this season of life.

But at the tail end of summer, right before the kids started school, a swell came in from the horizon.  I saw Marcus crawling around one day, bumping his head on different things.  It wasn't anything new, but this time, he was obviously distraught, burying his head in his arms and crying out, "Mommy, It's so hard.  I don't know how to see." 

I couldn't sleep that night.  We are on high alert whenever Marcus indicates anything regarding his vision, so I cried and prayed all night, begging God to guard what little vision Marcus has, even though the doctors say his retinal degeneration is inevitable.  I feared it was the beginning of my son losing his eyesight, adding another layer of pain to the challenges he already faces.

As He usually does in times of despair, the Lord led me to Psalm 34, drawing my attention specifically to verses 19-20.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous; but the Lord delivers him out of them all.
He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.

When I read this passage years ago when Marcus was first diagnosed, I didn't have faith that God would follow through with this promise...to deliver us from our afflictions.  I thought the only way God would do that was by healing Marcus from his condition.  But this time, I read it with a clearer understanding.  God doesn't promise to take away our afflictions, but He promises to deliver us from them by protecting us in the midst of them.  When I read it this time, I felt my eyes were opened to the truth that the way God shows us His love isn't necessarily by taking AWAY our pain, but by loving us IN our pain.  Not one of my bones will be broken in hardship, He says. 

By God's grace, I noticed my heart had grown a little from a few years back.  I woke up from that restless night's sleep with thanksgiving, that God would give me a spiritual love-pinch, a poke in my rib to make sure I was alive and not just a dead weight coasting along.  After probing Marcus more about it the next morning, he clarified that his vision wasn't changing, but sometimes it bothered him more than usual and that sometimes it was "hard to see".  I asked him if he was sad or okay and he assured me that he was alright.  (By the way, we are SO thankful that Marcus can even verbally communicate all this.  It is a huge deal and we in no way take this for granted.)  So yes, I was thankful that God would use this vision episode not as a code red for Marcus, but as a spiritual defibrillator for me, giving me a good hearty slap in the toosh to make sure I wasn't sleeping my way through the path of following Christ.

Since then, He's allowed for more opportunities for our faith to be stretched.  For example, Marcus took a fall at school recently, cried on a different day because he was scared, and today he told his aide at school that he never ever wants to go back to kindergarten again.  But through the various hurdles, He's also given us some precious truths to hold onto.

Matthew 5:3

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

1 Peter 1:6-7

In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ

I could go into a long boring commentary on how these passages have taken a hold of me, but in summary:  I love how different afflictions big and small can bring my heart to life by drawing from the Words of Life.  They remind me that though it can be comfortable to just happily float along day by day, there is far more joy in desperately clinging onto Him who helps me persevere toward a great and glorious Day.

I've said it many times before, but goodness, do I thank God for our dear Marcus.  How I greatly rejoice.  My heart is alive and well.


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Monday, September 10, 2012

Thoughts On The First Day

I dreaded the first day of school.  With the slower stride of summer and getting to enjoy being with the monkeys doing everything and nothing together, I didn't feel like stepping into the hustling bustling pace of the fall.  Waking up early, packing lunches and backpacks, nagging them to get out of bed or finish homework...I just wasn't looking forward to it.

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But what bummed me out the most was the simple fact that these babies of mine were growing up...again. Marcus is now a Kindergartner without the comfort of a small special needs class setting.   Instead, he's in a large general ed class full of "typical" peers. And Audrey, who doesn't seem to ever stop growing, is at a different school than last year and has to make a whole new set of friends.

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It didn't help that after our bedtime prayers the night before, she erupted in tears accompanied by a few rounds of "I'm scared." And it was then that I heavily doubted the "I love you" I wrote on blue ink on the kids' left hands were going to bring them any comfort.

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The Lord knew what this mama heart needed because I had set a date to visit with my friend Stacey after the first morning's drop-off. The kids parted ways wonderfully, but my eyes were sore from damming up the tears all morning.

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So it was a wonderful blessing to share our mama burdens to each other and pray for our children while letting the tears flow freely. What I realized during my time with her was that it's not just the thought of seeing our kids go to school and have to go through good and bad experiences on their own that saddens me, but also the fact that these babies are growing up quickly and the sand in the hourglass is falling faster than I had expected. And boy, does a mama feel vulnerable knowing that our babies are out there in world on their own, even if it's only for a few hours a day.

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Thankfully, praying with my friend and entrusting our Father with our kids that morning calmed my heart tremendously and reminded me that He sure does love them more than I ever could.  And because He loves me too, I can go to Him to tend to my heart when it's bruised by the sometimes light but sometimes brutal lessons of motherhood.

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Upon picking them up, I knew that I'd be able to tell from their first facial expressions, what their first day was like. So since I saw this:

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And this:

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I let out a sigh of relief and thanked Him for being gentle with us all on our first day.  Not all of them will be as smooth and happy for sure, but at least we got off to a great start (unlike Audrey's first ever school experience).

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That day happened to be my birthday, so it led to a little more introspection than usual. I thought about how blessed I am at this stage of my life.

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Not only has He met my every need, but He is using the precious members of my family to reveal in me a greater need I have of Him.

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My husband and my munchkins are gracious gifts I don't deserve.

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They make me laugh, they make me cry, they energize me and they expend all my energy at the same time.

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But what I'm most thankful for is that God uses them to make me long for Him and depend on Him more because they expose all my weaknesses and all my flaws.  They don't know it, but they're teaching me so much. And as I'm now getting ready for a new week of school ahead, this mama's heart is nice and full.

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Monday, August 20, 2012

Walking, Dancing, Giggling

Even though Marcus isn't fully walking independently yet, the journey getting there has been awesome.   We love this kid so much.


Wednesday, August 1, 2012

What We've Been Up To Lately

"Just Dance"ing, and just sweating up a storm.

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Leaving Derek's uneaten breakfast on the kitchen floor hoping he'll come by and eat it while he plays. I should just leave a bowl of water out for him too.

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Discovering that we have a huge hydrangea plant in the side yard and using them to brighten up the home.

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Wiping the drool off our faces while counting the 100+ baby avocados growing on the tree.

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Still playing with alphabet puzzle pieces I bought for Audrey from the Target dollar bin when she was a toddler. And we still haven't lost one! Miracle.  Probably the best dollar I ever spent on the kids.

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Leaving Big D in just his diaper because I love seeing the soft buttery curves of his rock-hard baby muscles.

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Totally milking the backyard this summer

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I love how Auj had to change into her bathing suit so she could dip her feet in the baby pool.

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The front patio is getting some good action lately too

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Collaborating on chalk art

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Crying about having to collaborate

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Doing push-ups simultaneously to fight off the chalk art blues

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Pouring himself into his work by way of strained eyebrows

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Needing a bath after every chalk session

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Wrapping dusty little chalked up arms around Mama

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Taking the older kids on long after-dinner rides along the bike path behind our house

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Cheering on the Champ because he's really started to steer better and pedal harder

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Admiring sunsets and my daughter's love of outdoor sweating

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Trekking up to the bridge to catch trains pass by underneath

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Making the return trip with full moons guiding us back home

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Celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary!!!

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Watching my not-so-new husband enjoy delicious food while recalling the most memorable times of our marriage thus far.

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There's more celebrating to come as we go on a weekend getaway in a few weeks. Can't wait to have this guy to myself for a couple days.

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Lastly, witnessing the kids' first duet.   It cracks me up because this idea was 85% their doing with 15% help and guidance from me. Enjoy!


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