I Should Have Told Them

Conversations I should have had before putting our house on the market:

Hey, Derek. When strangers come over to look at our house, don't worry. They're not here to abduct you, so you can chill out.

Hey, Audrey. It might not be the most helpful thing to throw your clothes all over the floor when Mommy's frantically trying to tidy up before a showing. And if you're going to throw your clothes on the floor, try not to have the pants inside out with the pant legs still through your used underwear. Thanks.

Hey, Marcus. The people coming over to look at our house are not coming over to play with you. So you don't have to keep yelling "Hi!" really loud and start talking to them about how well you decorated the Christmas tree. Oh, and you don't have to rush to the piano and start playing all your songs because they probably didn't come over for a recital. Thanks for the background music though.

Hey, Audrey. Even though there have been lots of Asians visiting our house, you don't have to notice the Caucasians coming through the door and say, "WHAT!? They're not Chinese!!"

Oh and Marcus, when the Caucasians are looking around, you don't have to give them a lesson on Korean cuisine and declare, "I'm eating MEE YUK GOOK!" with bits of seaweed all over your teeth.

Alrighty, kids. Thanks. Love ya.