Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Another Newborn Baby Boy

When Mike went back to work after a 2-week break, my parents came to visit from Hawaii to spend time with their grandkids and to help me adjust to being a mommy of 3.  I loved seeing my dad walk around with Marcus and play music with him and seeing Audrey play endless rounds of Hide & Seek with Grandma & Grandpa.  The sweetest was seeing my mom bond with Derek as she used her Grandma magic to soothe him and help him sleep.  Something about being held by her made him the happiest baby in the universe.

Derek is almost 4 weeks old and he's doing a great job of stealing our hearts.  What a gift he is!  I cannot and must not complain about the lack of sleep or the craziness of having the 3 kids because the Lord has given us this most precious little one and so far, has answered so many prayers.  When I hold him, I can't help but pray in tears and thank God for His graciousness, His gentleness, His lavish love in giving us Derek.

Taking care of another newborn baby boy brings back so many memories of when Marcus was little.  Putting Marcus' old clothes on Derek reminds me of when I held him and stained those onesies with my tears while trying my best to cast my anxieties at the feet of my Lord.  I remember my mom came with me to his very first ophthalmology appointment when he had his unexplainable head tremor and when we thought that he could have been blind.  And now seeing my dad walk around with him and hearing my mom say that he is a totally different boy than 5 months ago because he's talking so much now, reminds me of how far we've come in this journey and how faithful the Lord has been in keeping us near the cross.

This time around with Derek, I'm not as scared and anxious and fearful as I was with Marcus.  Instead, I'm filled to the brim with extreme gratefulness.  I don't think I could be this thankful if it weren't for the valleys we've walked through with Marcus.  Derek's got an older brother to look up to and to learn from, and now he's got parents who cannot take his little life for granted.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Derek Isaiah Lee

Our son was born on October 26th, 2010 at 7:20 PM in Newport Beach, CA.  He was a whopping 8 pounds 10 ounces and 21 inches long, which explains the discomfort I felt on my petite 5 foot 2 inch frame!

The night before our induction, I was sleeping and praying simultaneously.  The Lord knew the desires of my heart for the baby inside me, yet I had to ask the Lord to strengthen my heart for the worst, if it was what He willed.  Labor took longer than expected and during that waiting time, I kept thinking that in just a few hours, our lives could change drastically forever.

I felt prepared to have my son intubated if needed, or to bring him home with oxygen equipment, or to enter the world of Down Syndrome, or to rush to get him an MRI due to some other obvious signs of Joubert Syndrome.

But for some reason, that is not what my Father willed.  He willed for the Neonatology team to examine him and then then take my hand to say, "Your son is perfect."

He is one week and one day old today and we are little in shock.  So far, he is like any other healthy baby.  Derek is using his eyes to look around and his muscle tone is very strong; both very good signs that he may not have Joubert Syndrome.  And yet I look at our beloved Marcus, who couldn't use his eyes adequately for months, and who still struggles with low muscle tone  and I think that he is perfect too.

Our Derek, whom we thought was an "accident" when we found about the pregnancy early this year, is a truly undeserved gift from the Lord.  Mike and I have three children now.  I can't believe it.  I had so longed for the chance to have more children after learning of Marcus' diagnosis and the genetic risks involved.  And for some mysterious reason, the Lord heard these cries of my heart and answered so lavishly.  This humbles me completely.

I can't help but lift up these 3 precious souls to the Lord and beg him for His grace to raise them and love them in the love of Jesus.

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