Monday, March 29, 2010

A New Favorite Blog

My sister just sent me this blog, who got it from Jeena.  Thanks so much, gals!!!

Just read through many posts with tears in my eyes and my heart SO full and encouraged.  I'm SO thankful!

Here are two posts that blessed me tremendously.  Please read them.  :-)

Where The Broken Are Swift And The Weak Are Strong

I Love You...No Matter What

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Thankful Thursday

1. We had another neuro-ophthalmology appointment this morning up in Pasadena and the doctor was so pleased.  Marcus was able to "tell" the doctor what pictures he could see by pointing to the matching picture on a piece of paper.  We found that his visual acuity is 20/60.  The doctor was thrilled that his vision is so good and totally impressed that he could even measure his vision with those pictures.  He said that it is tough to examine a child's vision at Marcus' age and that it wasn't only his vision, but also his intelligence and attention to the task that helped him with the examination.  Marcus was a rock star this morning and Audrey was so patient during yet another appointment.  Mike and I drove back home SO full of thanks.

2. I'm thankful for the new Gospel Christianity classes that have started at church.  This particular quote struck me and ministered to me this week:  Disbelief in the gospel of grace, of course, keeps the unconverted from God.  But a lack of DEEP (emphasis mine) belief in the gospel is also the main cause of spiritual deadness, fear, and pride in Christians, because our hearts continue to act on the basis of "I obey, therefore I am accepted."

3. I'm thankful that Marcus' sleep at night has generally improved.  I think the combination of Daylight Savings and Johnson & Johnson's Nighttime Lavender Wash has helped (for now).  Thank you, Lord!

4. I'm thankful for my husband, who has been SO patient while I've been incredibly lagging in the homemaking department lately.

5. I'm thankful that one day this past week, I caught my kids watching TV together like this:

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Things I Used To Think

Many of my thoughts on raising children have changed since I've become a parent and especially since raising a child with special needs.  I'm almost too ashamed to post this, but I thought it would be good to write down how God has graciously allowed my perspective to evolve through the years.

1. I used to think that the answer to all sleep issues was to let the kid "cry-it-out".

I never thought that some kids (especially those neurologically-affected) just have a terrible time with sleep and that marathon crying sessions can do more harm than good.

2. If I saw a child throw a tantrum in public, I used to think, "Gee, his parents should discipline him more at home.  It's probably his parents' fault that he's turned out this way."

I looked at "difficult" kids with such a judgmental eye rather than with compassion for them and for their parents.  I never stopped to think that maybe their parents have tried their best and that they are at the end of their rope.  I never considered that the child acting out at the store had sensory issues like Marcus or had other hidden disabilities that sparked the poor behavior.  Before having kids, I thought that consistent discipline = obedience and now I know that it is not 100% the case and we can never control our children.  When I thought of the best behaved kids,  I thought it was due to the measure of their parents' godliness.  But now, I'm thinking that perhaps the parents of one or two "difficult" ones are more blessed because they have so much more brokenness before God and others.

3. If  I saw a noticeably older child in a stroller, I would stare at him and think, "By golly, that kid is old enough to walk.  Why is he still making his mom push him around in a stroller?"

I never considered that this child had motor or muscle issues and that maybe he needed the stroller because he fatigued easily.

4. I used to think that how a person appeared on the outside showed his capacity for contributing great things from the inside.

Entering the world of special needs has shattered this view of people.  I have encountered so many individuals and have heard of so many people whom society had "written off" upon looking at them.  But in reality, these people have warmed so many hearts and taught so many people the lesson that God looks at the inside and that sometimes God gives these people a greater ability to love and serve others. And besides that, so many of these individuals have a sharp intellect and a witty sense of humor.

5. When running into a family with a child with special needs in public, I would pretend not to notice them because my heart broke with pity for them.

I never considered that this child's parents were elated that their child was enjoying the time out without having sensory difficulty on that particular day.  Or that they were so proud to see their child sitting up straighter or holding his head up with more stability.  Or that he said a new word.  Or that it was the first time walking in the mall in his walker.  There are times when we're out with Marcus in his walker and people pretend not to notice.  But there have been a few who have looked and smiled and then I nodded in return because yes...I was so proud of our little man!

6. When I was a kid, I used to make fun of the weird and socially quirky kids and thought I was so much better than them.

And these thoughts grew with me because as an adult, I thought that the weak and disabled and the "different" were part of the lower classes of our society.


(edit:  Just thought of 2 more)

7. I used to look down on parents who had to lug around a huge bag of entertainment for their kids everywhere they went.  I thought they were teaching their kids to be "high-maintenance" kids.

I was so humbled by this when we learned that Marcus had an incredibly tough time with boredom, especially during red lights in the car and sitting in a non-moving stroller.  But now, I don't go anywhere without books, toys, a DVD player, and lollipops because they help him SO much!!

8. I used to think that diagnoses such as ADHD, Oppostional Defiant Disorder, Seasonal Affective Disorder, etc, were a bunch of psycho-babble that just gave excuses for people to behave the way they did.

I never considered that people with these diagnoses (and their families) truly suffered and that there were neurological and other unknown causes for their difficulties that couldn't simply be cured by having someone wave a Bible verse over them.  Reading this Christian mom's blog of her experience raising many adoptive children with similar issues (due to prenatal exposure to drugs/alcohol) has changed my perspective on this.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm so ashamed that I thought these things (and more).  These thoughts stemmed from a legalism and pride that I didn't even know existed in my heart.  I'm so sad that I came to such quick and harsh judgments of people whom the Lord loves.  I'm reminded of Christ's ministry to the lowly, the helpless, the weak, the outsiders of the world, and that He became the world's biggest loser when men judged Him and when He was put on the cross.

And yet, I know that sooner or later, our family and Marcus may be the target of these thoughts from strangers.  But rather than responding in anger (and believe me, I've wanted to punch some people out), I hope that I respond with compassion for these people as well.  Perhaps God hasn't yet given them the grace-filled opportunities to change their perspective.  After all, without God's grace, I would still be thinking the way I used to.

Things I Used To Think

Many of my thoughts on raising children have changed since I've become a parent and especially since raising a child with special needs.  I'm almost too ashamed to post this, but I thought it would be good to write down how God has graciously allowed my perspective to evolve through the years.

1. If I saw a child throw a tantrum in public, I used to think, "Gee, his parents should discipline him more at home.  It's probably his parents' fault that he's turned out this way."

I looked at "difficult" kids with such a judgmental eye rather than with compassion for them and for their parents.  I never stopped to think that maybe their parents have tried their best and that they are at the end of their rope.  I never considered that the child acting out at the store had sensory issues like Marcus or had other sources of anxiety that sparked the poor behavior.  Before having kids, I thought that consistent discipline = obedience and now I know that it is not 100% the case and we can never control our children.  When I thought of the best behaved kids,  I thought it was due to the measure of their parents godliness.  But now, I'm thinking that perhaps the parents of one or two "difficult" ones are more blessed because they have so much more brokenness before God and others.

2. If  I saw a noticeably older child in a stroller, I would stare at them and think, "By golly, that kid is old enough to walk.  Can't

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Morning Wrestling Match

Buzz Lighyear:  Mwah-ha-ha!  I see my prey.  I will force Gumball Girl into submission.



BL:  First, I will pin her down with my head.

GG:  Woah!



BL:  Then, I will push my diaper into her face.

GG:  Aaah!



BL:  I will then strangle her with the grip of death.

GG:  Hee hee hee!



BL:  And sit on her again.



BL:  Sometimes a little saliva lets her know who's boss.



BL:  Okay, let's take a little breather.



GG:  Whew!  That was fun!

BL:  Yes, now she knows that she is no match for my power!



GG:  Oh, my brother...isn't he cute?



GG:  I love him SO much!  (strangle hold)

BL:  (suffocating) I will be victorious again, Gumball Girl.  Just wait and see!

Morning Wrestling Match

Buzz Lightyear:

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Thankful Thursday

1. I'm thankful that our family got to meet Era, Wayne, and Will Hall last summer at the Joubert Syndrome Conference.  One of the "veteran" families in this Joubert Journey, we all look up to them so much because of their love, joy, hope, and sense of humor.  Will passed away this week.  He was almost 15 years old.  It was a complete shock to our whole JS family, and an incredible loss as well.  Please pray for Era and Wayne, as they mourn the loss of their most precious son.

2. In light of Will's passing, I'm thankful for each day I get with my loved ones.

3. I'm thankful that during the past few weeks of fighting a few illnesses, I received so many blessings:  Mike's constant care for me and the kids, Audrey's love notes and caresses on my arm, Marcus' cute face, and meals from friends.

4. I'm thankful that despite being rocked this cold/flu season, Marcus' energy level has sky-rocketed this week.  He's really exploring places of the house he's never ventured to before and overall, he is just really happy and content.  His teachers and therapists have also noticed it and have said that the old Marcus is back.

5. I'm thankful for being reminded to depend on the Lord for each moment.  Just as Christ taught us to pray for daily bread, I've been praying for daily grace and daily faith to trust in Him.  Sometimes I get so caught up wondering if He'll be there for me tomorrow or months from now, that I forget to just simply ask Him for today's portion of grace and faith.  I'm thankful for this reminder and comfort.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Snot Pics Before And After

This cold/flu/virus season has been brutal on us, especially the Champ.  Probably due to it being his first year of school.  But were it not for the illnesses, I oouldn't take pics like the ones below.

Marcus abhors having his nose wiped, especially from me, because I'm not as gentle as Daddy.  So he'd rather have his nose look like this:



And this:



And he may even drink a bit of it



Before I do this:



Because he just hates it



Until he realizes that he doesn't have gremlin goo oozing from his face anymore.



I get no "thank you, Mommy for wiping my nasty face," but I'll take this smile as gratitude for now.

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