This past month has been particularly difficult for a variety of reasons. And truthfully, I have not responded to all of God's dealings with us with a steadfast faith and humble contentment. In fact, I have been selfish and prideful to the Lord in many ways. I have felt that I know better than God how to deal out our cards, that I can find better ways for our lives to work out. I have desired ease and comfort more than the nearness of God at times. I've succumbed to anxiety, fear, despondency and anger about Marcus' condition. I've felt like a child wanting his own way, rather than trusting that my Father's ways are ultimately the best.
But even through weak faith and selfish pride, the Lord is so gracious. You see, in the middle of an especially prideful week, God showered His blessings on us. Marcus started to reach several milestones back to back. One day, he sat by himself for more than an hour without falling backward, completely content to play with a variety of toys. Since then, he's really been able to sit up for long stretches of time. He's also been reaching for and getting into things so much now that I have to be careful where I place things...which is a problem I'm glad to have! He also learned to clap and he gets so excited that he can do it all by himself, and even on command. He has also become a genuine babbler, making sounds like dada, baba, mama, nana, vava, etc. So in the span of a few days, Marcus has progressed in his gross motor skills, fine motor skills, speech, and receptive communication. God didn't have to allow this to happen this past month. In His mercy and grace, He reminded my wandering heart that He is good, that He is faithfully listening to our pleas, and that He is lovingly caring for us even through the dips and valleys of our lives.
Raising Marcus, I've come to see that pain goes a bit deeper, but that joy also rings a bit louder. Every milesone reached is a living display of God's goodness. Romans 8:32 has been on my heart a lot recently. "He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also along with Him graciously give us all things?"
Here's our Champ in action:
Can I touch that?
Private drum lessons with Daddy
Of course, no xanga entry is complete without an update on our Audrey. There are so many ways she's been a blessing to us. Last month, the poor thing had over 100 bites on her body. She was such a trooper through the whole ordeal and we're so thankful for that!
We're also learning that she's got some genuine musical genes. It's neat to hear her singing along with worship songs, singing as if she knows all the words and chord changes. She knows how to appreciate a variety of musical genres as well. One night, walking through downtown Disney, she noticed a street performer who was singing and playing the blues on his guitar. Audrey got real excited and said, "Mommy! Mommy, look! It's John Mayer!!!"
And here she is, doing her thing at Yogurtland.