Thursday, May 27, 2010

Joy & Grief & Looking Ahead

Marcus has been accomplishing so much recently.  The eating, the standing, the hand-held walking, and most certainly his speech have all been improving in the past few weeks.  We beam with pride and overflow with thankfulness for all these developments that we surely do not take for granted.

And yet simultaneously, there is still grief and sadness.  We are approaching his first IEP next week, which means it's our first step into the public school system.  Thinking that he's going "out there into the world" where he'll be compared with other kids and always measured on a developmental scale, saddens me.  Thinking that he'll never be just like his peers and that he'll always be different from them gives me a heart-brokenness that no mother wants to bear.  This week has been especially difficult regarding this grief.

Yet in the Lord's kindness and in His usual Fatherly fashion, He led me to a wonderful blog post.  This mother wrote down exactly how I felt, and also pointed me to a greater reality.

Does it really matter how Marcus compares to the rest?  Did Christ die for him so that he could be Mr. Popular and fit in with every other boy in Orange County?  Did God forsake His Son so that Marcus could find fulfillment in being accepted by this world?

Philippians 3:20-21

But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.

As much as this world shouts at me saying how important it is, I'm so grateful for this reminder of greater reality...our future glory with Christ.  Marcus won't have to face his disabilities anymore, and Mike & I won't bear the heartache of parents mourning our son's challenges anymore.  All of our difficulties will be restored to never-ending joy.  I pray that the Lord will keep my eyes looking ahead to this most glorious future.


jane said...

just read that post with tears...and ended up reading a lot of the blog, too...and now i'm bawling. thanks for sharing that. praying for you this week!

miriam said...

as i think about marcus being sent out into the world i can't help but to think of how God must has felt sending His perfect son to earth to be mocked, abused and scorned... it must have brought on some sort of pain and tears to God's eyes knowing that His one and only son whom He loved was headed to this kind of harsh place that would ultimatly lead to death to prove God's love. i guess what i'm saying is that God knows exactly what ur going thru b/c He Himself has gone thru it as well... who better to comfort you? praying for u guys!

Kyung Do said...

Hi Sue!

Thank you for sharing about Marcus. What a brave and wonderful boy he is! Your blog has encouraged, inspired and reminded me, of God's love and how he wants an intimate relationship with all His children everyday. Yes, what a great joy it will be when Our Lord Jesus arrives! But in the mean time fighting for our joy in the Lord while this world wants to take it away. PTL! And what joy we have in the Lord! God Bless!

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