And yet simultaneously, there is still grief and sadness. We are approaching his first IEP next week, which means it's our first step into the public school system. Thinking that he's going "out there into the world" where he'll be compared with other kids and always measured on a developmental scale, saddens me. Thinking that he'll never be just like his peers and that he'll always be different from them gives me a heart-brokenness that no mother wants to bear. This week has been especially difficult regarding this grief.
Yet in the Lord's kindness and in His usual Fatherly fashion, He led me to a wonderful blog post. This mother wrote down exactly how I felt, and also pointed me to a greater reality.
Does it really matter how Marcus compares to the rest? Did Christ die for him so that he could be Mr. Popular and fit in with every other boy in Orange County? Did God forsake His Son so that Marcus could find fulfillment in being accepted by this world?
But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.
As much as this world shouts at me saying how important it is, I'm so grateful for this reminder of greater reality...our future glory with Christ. Marcus won't have to face his disabilities anymore, and Mike & I won't bear the heartache of parents mourning our son's challenges anymore. All of our difficulties will be restored to never-ending joy. I pray that the Lord will keep my eyes looking ahead to this most glorious future.